Calling Gordon Ramsey

Was packing yesterday, something that I didn’t want to be doing but I had to move, so there I was throwing things in boxes and vowing that I would look through them later and decide what to keep. I should have just thrown the stuff out right then and there but one never knows when the stuff will be needed. Of course, it’s been close to ten years since I’ve looked at some of those things, but still…

My cell phone was ringing! Yay! A phone call. Not too many people know my cell number, so I was sure that I would be happy talking to whatever friend was calling. A break from packing!

I ran to answer it, jumping over several boxes, hitting my shin on the metal edge of my bed, cursing and hopping around until I managed to croak out a hello; I heard a male voice.

Male Voice: Hey! It’s Nathaniel! What’s going on?

Alice: Nathaniel! Just packing.

Nathaniel *confused*: Packing?

Alice: Yep.

Nathaniel: Umm. Whatcha been doing today? Aside from…packing, did you say? Why the hell you packing?

Alice: Well, a lot of things. For example, I was in the grocery store with Larry this morning and he ran up to me in the dairy aisle and he was carrying two bags of potatoes, both 5 pounds of weight. And he excitedly told me that if you buy one 5-pound bag, you get the other one FREE! He was so excited. I wasn’t. I told him that I did not really eat potatoes and that 10 POUNDS of something that I really didn’t eat, was not saving anything at all.

Flashback

Larry: Oh. Well. I'm sure that you could think of a recipe that could use…

Alice *interrupting very quickly*: 10 POUNDS? No. After all, I am not trying to feed Ireland during the famine. They will SPOIL. They will develop those eyes and those gnarly thin, white, stringy, wormy tentacles that look as if they belong in an Edward Gorey drawing, and…

Larry: Nonsense! It’s a good sale.

Alice: NO! I don’t want POTATOES! Or, Spam for that matter.

End of Flashback

Alice: So, Nathaniel, we didn’t get the potatoes though Larry was pissed about it all day. What do you mean why am I packing? It’s obvious, isn’t it?

Nathaniel: Er. Umm. Sorry. You see, the thing is that I think that I got the wrong number.

Alice: Yeah. You did.

Nathaniel: Oh. You’re not Penny, then?

Alice: Nope.

Nathaniel: Oh. Well. Sorry.

Alice: I bet you are!

Nathaniel: Well, I want to hang up now.

Alice: I bet you do!

Sadly, I had to return to packing. And Larry came back with the potatoes because it was too good a deal to pass up.

Okaaay. Well, if I remember the recipe correctly, one can boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.

That's just what I'll do with 'em.