There are no Words...

My friend Tiggy has telephoned me early this morning. Too early. Everyone in this little household went to sleep very late last night -- or very early this morning, if one wanted to be accurate. She wants to meet and walk around the park many, many, many times because she claims that she has spent the holiday weekend eating everything in sight and needed to exercise. We had been celebrating David's birthday all weekend and while eating and drinking were great things to do, walking didn't make my list, but Tiggy hinted that she had something fun and interesting and necessary to talk about. So I went.

Tiggy is wearing her customary pair of black yoga pants, and a much beloved green tee shirt that has written in front: What kind of socks do pirates wear? And on the back: Arrrgyle! She also has on her grandmother's strand of pearls and a pair of long beaded earrings. Quite the look. As long as I have known her, she always wears the pearls and while her earrings are varied, they are always long enough to almost brush the top of her shoulders. I once joked to someone that I bet she wore this jewelry to sleep and, sure enough, she came over one night to borrow my camera and was wearing pajamas (she lived next door) and the pearls and gold filagree danglers.

So here we are, me with three hours of sleep and Tiggy chirping about this and that when, at mile two of our walk, she starts to talk about values, morals, and standing up for what one believes. God help us.

Tiggy: You know, I sometimes see a program on television that concerns itself with values and such…by the way, you should see it too.

Alice: Alright. Which one?

Tiggy: Well, I don’t remember the name.

Alice: Oh. Well, what channel is it on?

Tiggy: I don’t remember, though I think it’s channel 35. But I’m not sure.

Alice: Oookay. When does it come on?

Tiggy: Actually, I don’t remember. Maybe Sundays?

Alice *quite irritated*: How in hell do you see this program if you don’t know the name, don’t remember the channel, and—more importantly—can’t remember what day it’s on? HOW DO YOU SEE THIS BLOODY PROGRAM THEN, HUH?

Tiggy: Well, it’s usually by accident. I turn on the t.v. and then, all of a sudden, it’s on and I always say to myself: Hey, I love this program, gotta watch it more often.

Alice: How many times have you seen it?

Tiggy: Oh, just twice. I think. I’m not sure. Maybe. But anyway. It’s a great program.

I know when to surrender. I look over at Tiggy and vow, absolutely vow that I will make it my mission to watch the show.

Tiggy: Great! Remember to tell me when it's on exactly. Okay?